I believe I am going on a date tonight. My first date in 3 years. One might look at this stat and form the opinion that I’m out of practice. But when you consider that this would be only the 5th “first date” of my entire 29 years of existence, it takes things to a whole new level… we’re clearly looking at someone who is horrendously inexperienced in the dating game here!

While I’m sure I’ll manage the basics… no bodily functions at the dinner table, no vomit stories, no longing gazes at the supremely hot waiter… I’m not sure of the code of conduct on other matters. I mean, at what point in the getting to know you game do I casually mention that I have an ex-husband?!? Will try to leave that one off the list of conversation topics for tonight! Hehe.

It seems that I have some kind of self-destructive addiction to men who aren’t really interested in me, but give me just enough to fool myself otherwise. After my latest effort – spending a shade over 12 months hoping desperately that a womanising low-profile professional cricketer would see the light and realise I am the woman of his dreams – I think it’s high time I learnt when to invest time and energy in a situation, and when to leave it the hell alone!

Note to self: I am an intelligent, well-educated, well-travelled, fit, active, fun-loving, caring human being and I deserve to be treated well. Hanging out with anyone who doesn’t fully appreciate me is a WASTE OF MY TIME! Professional sportsmen are OFF LIMITS FOREVERMORE!!!

Whilst I enjoy reading back over my blow-by-blow accounts of weekend adventures, I’m guessing they send others to sleep. In these strange and unusual times where I’m updating regularly enough to announce to the world (or my friends at least) that my blog is back up & running, I’m thinking there’s got to be a better way to keep the mob entertained. So, a change in style, featuring random observations from the weekend that was (in order of appearance not importance)…

1) Bungalow 8 is possibly the most pretentious bar in Sydney (potential rant in the offing here, but will curb it for now).

2) Always carefully assess the stage of drunkenness apparent in texts before agreeing to meet up with someone – failure to heed this code of conduct may result in arriving at a pub and ordering a meal, only to find the friend you were meeting has been kicked out (you know who you are, Joel!)!

3) The lure of cold beer and big screens showing the tennis may take you to sinister places… the Aurora Hotel in Surry Hills now proudly holds the mantle as the biggest dive I’ve ever been to in my life. Closely resembling an RSL club and with a clientele the local homeless shelter would be proud of, this is a pub to avoid at pretty much all costs. If anyone asks, deny you have ever been there.

4) Serving a double-fault to lose a 5-set tennis match is the second most excruciating moment in sport. Poor Verdasco.

5) A refreshing early morning dip in the ocean followed by a home-cooked breakfast, great conversation and some new recommendations to add to the reading list is a most delightful way to start a Saturday (thanks Lyn & Sonia!).

6) It is a mistake to spend $200 on new running shoes then leave them behind in another shop.

7) Certain houses will never tire of playing host to parties… Mon’s house is one of them! Happy birthday, chick! A great opportunity to catch up with some of the girls from school over a wine or 10. (Note: no matter how daunting is the prospect of staying awake into the wee hours, a power nap can overcome all, regardless of the volume of the music!)

8) The most excruciating moment in sport is, without a doubt, being stranded on 99 not out. Don’t try this one at home, kids, especially not twice in the one season. It is a harrowing experience to be present in the stands when this happens to a friend. Horrible to watch.

9) If it’s tough from the stand, it’s impossible to imagine how it must feel walking off the pitch knowing that you were one run shy of your maiden first-class hundred. Again. If this misfortune occurs to anyone you know, have the decency to respect that no, they don’t feel like coming out for a beer and yes, they would rather be on their own crying into their pillow (apologies Brett)!

10) The world is a truly small place… you never know when the guy standing next to you at The Brewery in Newie is going to be a friend of a friend you met a couple of months ago in Melbourne!

11) Random friends met in far flung places (such as Turkey) are awesome! You know who you are Al, Geo & Brookesta!

12) When did it become OK for a guy to absolve himself of all responsibility for making contact with a girl? In the last couple of weeks I have had no fewer than 4 guys give me their business card or number and say “call me”. Am I just being old fashioned? Or if a boy was genuinely interested, wouldn’t he be doing all the chasing?????